My Prayers Have Been Answered

"Honey," she says as she walks in the door. "You remember how we said we want to start eating better? Well, now I have the answer." And she draws a piping-hot steaming bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken from the piles of bags deposited on the counter.

I shook my head clear of the cobwebs as this little domestic drama played out on my television. Surely she didn't just say that eating greasy, but tasty, KFC was the key to eating healthier . . .

"Two pieces of original recipe have less fat than a Whopper!" she exclaims. "With the skin off, it goes down to three grams of fat!"

Now, at 43 grams of fat, there's not much on this earth that has more fat than a Whopper. A stick of butter. Homer Simpson's Moon Waffles. Probably those butter burgers I've seen advertised on billboards along Highway 70. Two pieces of original recipe chicken come in at 38 grams of fat (mentioned in the (extremely) fine print at the bottom of the screen - below the succulent-looking pieces of chicken), so while close, they're just under the wire. How long do you think KFC execs searched for a burger or fast-food competitor that they could nail to the wall?

Just when I thought that advertising in this country couldn't become more cynical about the gullibility of the American public, they go and pull something like this.

I like KFC; yep, it's greasy; yep, it's probably killing me (that's why I only eat it once every few months), but those KFC execs better quake in fear, because these ads could work cause KFC to work its way onto my "annoying commercial boycott" list. That'll show 'em . . .

Still, I give them credit for having the cajones to actually air these ads. Brazen courage counts for something in my book. So watch out KFC, you're close to being on my list . . .