Thursday, November 20, 2003

Chesterfield & More!

Fate caused me to spend two evenings out in the Ballwin/Chesterfield area this week. Generally, I don't make it out there; generally, I try not to acknowledge that there's a world out past I-270. There's just so much open space and strip malls waiting to happen. - shudder-

But while I was driving up Manchester returning home, I noticed a strange phenomenon in Chesterfield: it seemed as if every store just had whatever it sold and & More! tacked on the end of it. So I started thinking: haven't these store owners ever thought about coming up with a new name? Why & More!?

That's when it hit me -- I can start coming up with names for businesses! Some of these just write themselves!

For example, Herbs & More!. I assume they sell herbs and firearms -- you know, more than just herbs. But why not go for a little alliteration? You could have Herb's Herb House or Herb's Herb Hut or even Herbert's Herb House. Come on, wouldn't you be more likely to hit a store with a lot of Hs in the title?

Next, there was Birdhouses & More. I'm guessing they sell birdhouses and corn whiskey (that & More leaves things kind of vague). How about the Mynah Mansion or Alan's Aviary (I'm kind of into this alliteration thing for some reason tonight)? Again, no ambiguity. I think I'm on to something here.

The final store I can think of is Dinettes & More. I'm thinking they sell Dinettes and diapers. I was thinking of something like Dan's Dinettes or Table Dancing or something.

To the proprietors of these businesses: I offer you my services for free; for others, contact me and we'll talk about prices. I'm telling you, this is my vocation. I can feel it in my bones.

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