Renovating For the Birds

The renovation work going on over my head broke my concentration. The constant tapping, the rustling, the noise. It was getting to me. I'm a pretty simple guy; like most other people, I like my Sunday mornings quiet and low-key - doing something like sipping hot chocolate while reading the paper, or listening to the radio while I lie in bed. No noise. Noise isn't good.

Except it dawned on me -- I'm not doing any renovating, so what's going on up there?

The pigeons are back, and apparently, they've declared squatters' rights on the roof over my sunroom. They're tapping. They're cooing. They're rustling, just trying to make themselves comfortable, I guess.

So like many others in this situation, I started trying to figure out my options:

First, I thought of climbing up there to see what's going on, but I rejected that option -- I don't do heights too well, especially on a ladder. I'm okay climbing up or climbing down, but when I make it to the top, I sort of freeze and stare around me, not really sure what to do. I worked with Habitat for Humanity a couple of years ago, and by the end of the day, they had me carrying lumber around, because I was largely useless on the ladder (that and I kept missing nails with my hammer; fortunately, my thumb blocked most of the hits).

Then I envisioned tossing firecrackers up on the roof, and I really thought about this for a long time. It's a perfect solution -- the birds get scared off, and I get my house back. However, I don't have access to fireworks right now, so I may have to put this answer on the back burner.

It hit me -- a cat! Cats hunt birds, plus they're somewhat nice to have around the house, while they're not trying to kill you or get you to feed them. However, the cat would probably get itself stuck on the roof, and I already covered the ladder problem. Plus, why save something that's actively plotting your death? Sounds kind of silly to me.

So I'm left with few options; call someone, or climb up on the roof. I don't like it, but I may have to do it. Any suggestions would be welcome.