Fighting VD

It's Valentine's Day. Ho Hum. I could write a 50-page essay about why no one should celebrate this greeting card holiday, but instead, I'll tell you some stories.

I spent all day cooking up a storm. I hadn't burned myself. I was in the zone. Sauce bubbled on the stove. Bread warmed in the oven. The salad was cold, tangy and refreshing. The candles were lit, the wine was poured. Yep -- I was on.

Fast forward a few hours, to when my girlfriend at the time told me how she was "forced" to tell someone she was my girlfriend. What does one say to that, really? After sending her flowers, preparing a romantic dinner for her and putting up with her shit for several months, I learned she was "forced" to tell them I was her boyfriend? I don't want anyone in my life to feel "forced" to do anything, so this didn't go over too well.

She dumped me a few weeks later by refusing to talk to me or return my calls. Great times.

Last year, I spent Valentine's Day at a concert with a pretty, funny, co-dependent psychotic who spent several weeks leading me around by the nose. After spending time with her, I felt like I should have a ring installed in my nose, like one of those bulls, just to make her life easier. Needless to say, she's not in my life any longer.

This year, I spent a lot of money on myself and have had a really nice day. I visited my grandmother, and had a fun lunch with Mom and David.

I could be angry or violent. One year I got into a screaming match with a flower delivery guy on Valentine's Day. I used to sit around, glaring at happy couples and wishing them nothing but harm. OK -- I still do that, but now I keep it to myself. Now the police don't visit nearly as much.

There were two "Anti-Valentines Day" parties that I know of; hell, I was invited to one, and I thought about crashing the other (it's being sponsored by my new enemies, and if one of my friends who was invited didn't have a date tonight, I would have been her date to this party -- boy it would have pissed the host off to no end. Oh well). But the more I think about it, the more I wonder why I want to. Attending a party to revile the day gives it more creedence than it deserves. As far as I'm concerned, I can do more damage to VD by just ignoring it and living my life as if it's simply not there.

And to be honest, it's the best one I've had in a long time.