Monday, January 26, 2004

A Waking Dilemma

I like to think of myself as a morning person; someone who leaps up at the first alarm, flies into the shower, skips to the car and runs into work. This morning, I began to realize that I might be full of it.

I woke up at 7:30. The big problem here is that I set my alarm clocks (that's right -- two clocks) for 5:30 and somehow turned both of them off while sleeping. Not good. Part of the problem is that I hate work, and I see little point in sitting in traffic for 45 minutes to go somewhere I'd rather not be.

Another part of the problem is that it's really cold out, and I don't like to be roused from hibernation. I've often said the bear leads the perfect life -- they wander around the wilderness, eating berries, ants and honey and sleep for four months. That's a lifestyle I can get behind.

And it's not like this is a new problem. My junior year of college, I sat up all night studying for a final and decided to get two hours of sleep. I woke up hearing a strange buzzing sound, which after five minutes, my sleep-addled brain put this series of thoughts together:

"Isn't that the fire alarm?"
"Yeah . . . "
"That's kind of funny. They usually only test those on Thursdays . . ."
"Well, it is Thursday."
"But don't they test those at SWEET JESUS!! TEN-THIRTY!!!!!!"

The final was at 9:00. I won't bore all three of you with the details of the truly epic ass-kissing I pulled off to be allowed to take the test a day later. Needless to say, the Two Alarm Era began that afternoon.

But now it appears to be failing. I need to rearrange the clocks to remedy this problem. Sure I could go to bed earlier, but why would I do such a thing? So I don't know what to do about this problem, but short of paying someone to walk in and pour freezing water over my head, I don't really have any good ideas.

Needless to say, I have my best man working on it -- me. I expect a solution will present itself soon.

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