Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Newton is a Harsh Master

It seemed like slow motion - the soda bottle slipped from my grasping fingers, slowly turning over as it sped towards the floor.

I tried making the catch, hoping to stave off the inevitable, but my reflexes aren't up to gravity's inflexible standards. The bottle landed on its side and the cap shot straight off and under the vending machine. Soda fountained up over the machine, me and the floor, and the bottle rocketed across the floor, propelled by a shower of soda. Fortunately, a table stopped it.

So there I stood, covered in Diet Pepsi, surveying the trail of soda ending under the nearby table.

At least the people in the kitchen clapped after it was over.


Anonymous said...

OK, the biggest problem I see with this story is you were drinking diet PEPSI. Everyone knows that diet coke is better. Years of Drinking DP has most likely slowed your reflexes, and that is why you couldn't catch the falling bottle. Aaron

Brian said...

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron -
Diet Pepsi wasn't the problem. In fact, it's the source of my strength. Had I been properly fueled, I could have caught the bottle while doing a handstand. Unfortunately, I hadn't had a fix yet that day.

And Diet Coke tears up my insides. Ugly, ugly stuff, that Diet Coke.