- Use one of your employees as the umpire; that way, you'll get every advantage over the other team.
- If, when this plan backfires and you still star losing, start blaming your team.
- Start jawing at the other team when you draw a walk.
- Get your umpire to give you an extra inning of at-bats.
- Even though you know the umpire made a mistake, don't acknowledge it -- just keep the game going.
- Stomp off and pout by yourself -- it's especially becoming when you're older than 40.
- And even more impressive when your wife and child are at the game.
- Gloat at the other team before the game.
- Joke around with everyone on your team after the game -- even though they're looking at you with something resembling contempt.
- But don't bother with basic skills like catching and throwing; they just slow you down and take away from the game's competitive spirit.
Yes, it's good to know that people still aren't taking coed recreational softball too seriously these days.
3 comments:
How about:
-Slide Cleats up into the 105 lb. girl playing 2nd base to break up a double play.
-Sneak your $450 quad-wall bat into the game.
-Drink 3 beers per inning.
-Block 1st base line then throw punch when runner knocks you down. Yes this happened to me oh yeah, 1st baseman had only one arm.
I like to drink 3 beers per anything.
Good ones, Chilly! I just remembered a few more:
Start screaming at your stepson when he flubs a routine play at third.
Pout and whine like a three-year-old if you're at the end of the lineup.
and
Slide into second base, cleats up, into the midget playing the base.
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