Fresh Air

So I quit my job today. I marched into my boss's office and screamed, "FUCK YOU!!!!! I'M OUTTA HERE!!!!! NOW BURN! BURN! BURN!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

OK - that's not entirely true - I didn't laugh.

I know - lies, lies, lies. What can I say, I can't have a warm conversation without the lies, lies, lies.

But I did quit. And I told my boss exactly why - frustration and boredom mainly. The president of the company made it clear I was never going to go anywhere when he promoted one of his lackeys to be my manager. I probably wouldn't have cared that much, but it's hard to take someone who looks like the Indian Harry Carey very seriously. Plus, the only skill he'd really exhibited was a strong aptitude for surfing the internet.

I won't even start to mine the depths of my loathing for HR, other than to say I did get a few good jabs in at the head of HR when I quit today.

However, I can't help but look back on the last six years with a little sadness. Just once, I'd like to leave a company under happier circumstances, but I appear to gravitate towards the jackasses.

In any case, it was time for a change. All I did at work anymore was sit at my desk and read or work on crossword puzzles. And while it's fun for awhile, it's not particularly fulfilling or entertaining.

Since my job search wasn't going anywhere, I considered just roaming the land and having adventures - like Kane in "Kung Fu" (or more like David Banner in the "Incredible Hulk"). Or perhaps I could work my way into the World Poker Tour, but the damned restraining order won't let me within 200 yards of Doyle Brunson (c'mon Doyle - I said I was sorry!). So I finally went out and found a new job.

But as I stepped into the hot evening sun, it hit me - I was free. Two more weeks and I never have to walk into that office again. No more handyman jumping in front of my moving car to check my parking pass. No more pointless company-wide meetings (which were thinly veiled excuses to bring Jesus to our heathen souls). No more frustration - at least for now.

As the cool air brushed against my face through my car window, I smiled as I pulled out of the parking lot.