Monday, August 09, 2004

King of Softball

The King resides in a world where the sun perpetually shines, the emerrald grass beckons and all people come from miles around to see him grace us with His presence on the diamond.

His teammates wait for him to dispense His wisdom upon them; for they would be lost without him. His girlfriend, she looks at him adoringly, while he gently admonishes her for not living up to His image by turning the double play. For some mere mortals, only one out will have to suffice.

When a ball passes him, it's because the field is uneven or the ball took a nearly impossible hop. Someone must take better care of the field.

If he pops out, the wind caught it. If, Heaven forbid, he strikes out, it's because the umpire is out to get him or the catcher interfered with him.

And He never, never, never sits an inning out. Let the other, lesser players do it.

Off the diamond, He might wonders why no one ever talks to him. Don't they want to know His OBP, WHIP and slugging percentage?

Let them ignore him; they don't know greatness when they see it. Someday, they'll understand that they actually got to play with the King of Softball.


Anonymous said...

methinks I know of whom you speak...


Brian said...

Is it that obvious?

Anonymous said...

well duh! there's no one else on the team at all close to what you described.

how'd we do?


Lime Girl said... boys play at TGP? What night? I know of many softball kings like that!

Brian said...

Ajay and I played at Forest Park on Sundays. The "King" played on our team.

Actually, I also play in the Blackthorn league on Tuesdays in Tower Grove, and yes -- there are plenty of them around that league as well. What night(s) do you play there?

This was the second time I've been on a team with someone like this, and my patience with this particular breed is gone. It's rec league softball, for God's sake!

Lime Girl said...

Well,'re in my league....I guess you would know Chris from the Flesheaters....????? He's my favorite King of Softball

Lime Girl said...

OH...I play for the Jaycees....we're usually drunk.

Brian said...

I know of whom you speak, and I want to hit him with my shoe. Repeatedly.

I play on the Savage Crew. Sometimes we're drunk; mostly, we can't be heard over Keith himself. ; )

See you on the field sometime!