It's Official

We are the dumbest nation on earth. This story proves it.

Heaven forbid we have journalists in this country who actually spend time studying candidates and their positions on real issues, giving us nuanced, intelligent writing about what we could expect under a McCain or Obama presidency, rather than soundbites breathlessly delivered on the moment. Instead we get dog owners saying they prefer McCain.

Jesus Christ.

This probably shouldn't surprise anyone; with newsrooms shrinking in step with circulation, papers are nearly to the point where only j-school grads are filling newsrooms. And while I'm not saying this is all bad, perhaps a little experience and perspective would help things out. Believe me - I used to be a j-school grad, and I didn't know a damn thing when I graduated. Still don't, but I probably would have thrown up in my mouth a bit when this assignment landed on my lap.

We've reverted to 1800, where people got their news from papers that were fronts and propaganda pieces from the political parties. And while we as a nation survived for 200 years, I'd like to see us maybe move forward rather than backwards.

According to the piece, only a few presidents haven't had pets of some sort, including Polk, Fillmore, and Arthur. Damn that Fillmore; I always thought he was shifty. All these presidents were one-termers; I guess we can now infer that an Obama presidency will end the same way.

At least that's what the tea leaves told me yesterday.

Old Tyme Religion

Much as I try to tune it out, the "culture wars" keep creeping into my consciousness from time to time. And frankly, I find most of them to be utter bullshit.

Take the separation of church and state. Basically, there's a custody battle going on over the founding fathers, and just what their intentions were as they framed the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. Were they god-fearing Christians, hoping to settle a new Christian nation, and achieve the ideal City on a Hill, or were they ardent rationalists or deists?

Steven Waldman attempts to answer these questions in Founding Faith: Providence, Politics, and the Birth of Religious Freedom in America, which he largely does.

I think it's very easy to view historical figures as static portraits on a canvas. They don't move, they don't change, and they always remain the same, so it becomes very easy to not look at the founding fathers as actual people, with the same strengths and weaknesses. Take Thomas Jefferson, someone the right wing loves to take out of context. Jefferson believed in Jesus - but as a philosopher. He utterly rejected the divinity of Christ. In his spare time, Jefferson wrote his own version of the Bible, one that contained no references to the supernatural: no miracles, no healing, only Jesus teaching his followers. In fact, Jefferson had little use for organized religion.

Madison actually wanted even more separation between church and state, but political realities and necessities forced him to compromise. Washington frequently used religion to rally his troops, but he rarely attended church himself (as did most citizens in the early years of the nation).

Waldman does a fine job researching the views of several founders, and he comes to the conclusion that the truth lies somewhere in between the two sides of today. While some founders weren't comfortable with the idea of state-supported religion, others saw little or no problem with it. However, Madison and Jefferson were firmly in support of a strict separation between the two.

While the book is a little dry and academic at times, it is still an interesting topic and well worth the time.

77 (out of 100).

Most Expensive Playlist Ever

Here's a list of the songs that cost Jammie Thomas $222,000 in her failed defense against an RIAA lawsuit. It came from here.

• Guns N Roses "Welcome to the Jungle"; "November Rain"
• Vanessa Williams "Save the Best for Last"
• Janet Jackson "Let's What Awhile"
• Gloria Estefan "Here We Are"; "Coming Out of the Heart"; "Rhythm is Gonna Get You"
• Goo Goo Dolls "Iris"
• Journey "Faithfully"; "Don't Stop Believing"
• Sara McLachlan "Possession"; "Building a Mystery"
• Aerosmith "Cryin'"
• Linkin Park "One Step Closer
• Def Leppard "Pour Some Sugar on Me"
• Reba McEntire "One Honest Heart"
• Bryan Adams "Somebody"
• No Doubt "Bathwater"; "Hella Good"; "Different People"
• Sheryl Crow "Run Baby Run"
• Richard Marx "Now and Forever"
• Destiny's Child "Bills, Bills, Bills"
• Green Day "Basket Case"

I'm not sure I'd ever want to pay $1 for a Gloria Estefan album, let alone $9,258. (Miami Sound Machine? That's another story entirely). I wish I could say I was surprised she lost, but I'm not. My big question now is whether these artists are going to see one penny from this judgment The RIAA won on their "behalf".

More Money Than Brains

Crazed fans spend $500 to create plastic shards and spare parts. After you factor in the $500 they probably paid someone to stand in line for them throughout Friday, you have a spectacular waste of money. I would have sold them a box of broken phones for only $100.

When "I Love You" Is Not Enough

Police said the man they arrested lived a few blocks from Crystal and may have had a romantic interest in the girl.

I have to wonder about this guy's thought processes: send cute notes or flowers anonymously? Nah - too cliche.

Talk to her and ask her out? I want to set myself apart from the other guys.

Kidnap her dog, behead it and send the severed head to her in a gift box? Eureka!

Somehow I can't see this elderly couple staring into each other's eyes while reminiscing about how he courted her by acting like Kevin Spacey in Seven.

I suppose it could have been worse - he could have decided to kidnap her grandmother. I hope he's given a little quiet time as a guest of the state.

Apparently, the Axe Handle Wasn't Available

Man attacks another man with antlers in a road rage incident.

I know of people who carry blackjacks, bats, heavy flashlights and even guns in their cars in case they meet some maniac some day. But carrying antlers? I'm all for self-defense, but antlers?

And how exactly does one deal with an antler-wielding attacker?

Reasonable Doubt

Woman shoots husband over a warm beer.

After reading this I have to wonder: was it because the beer was warm, because it was Stag, or because it was warm Stag? It sounds to me like he was asking for trouble.

TSUNAMI!

Earthquakes rocked the Kurii islands this morning, and the Japanese government issued warnings. People were told to flee the expected tsunami.

So I'm sure they were a little confused when the 16-inch wave pounded the coast.

A co-worker told me that CNN devoted several segments of breathless coverage, waiting for the destructive tidal wave to hit the Japanese coast -- apparently one that you can avoid by either timing your jump just right or taking a big step at the right moment. Apparently, the anchor was rather distressed that we weren't going to see Japan or Hawaii erased from the map. Nice.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm all for weather warnings; I don't want to ever see a repeat of the 2004 earthquake; however, I'm thinking that maybe - the folks over at CNN might want to reign in the journalistic zeal a little bit. At least the guy on NPR sounded a little amused when he read about the 16 inches of terror that washed ashore this morning.

The Most Dangerous Place on Earth . . .

Is between Hugo Chavez and a camera. Honestly, I'm all for making waves and understand that keeping yourself in the public eye rarely hurts, but this dude is an attention whore. And of course, the media, when it senses sensationalism, immediately jumps and dances at his bidding. My advice? Ignore him. At some point, he'll see he's not drawing crowds or notice, and after a brief stint where he goes out in public wearing no pants and juggling chainsaws, he'll stop hogging headlines.

Homeward

It's been a couple of weeks where I've dreaded hearing the phone ring; however, the ringing phone brought a little good news this morning: my brother is out of Iraq and should be home within a week or two.

Fear Itself

Couldn't have said it better myself.

How Can We Miss You . . .

If you won't stay away?

I realize the lure of an easy buck is a hard one to avoid, but why must another dinosaur rock act come back for yet another tortured album where they turn themselves into a big joke?

Take the Rolling Stones -- the Stones circa 1965? Hell yes! The Stones circa 2005? No thanks. They stink now. Their shows aren't interesting, their albums suck, and basically they leech more money out of their few remaining true believers and those gullible enough to buy into the "hype".

So of course, the Eagles see this and think "why not us?" Jesus. Just retire. Keep popping out the occasional solo album. Act like you've grown professionally and personally since your band last split up; you know, after the last "farewell" tour. Keep some self-respect. I say these things as a longtime Eagles fan; one who would prefer not seeing one of his favorite old bands turn into a punchline.

"We decided we better get some new product out, some new songs. We could rest on our laurels and play our catalog forever, but we're not a nostalgia band," said Joe Walsh. Really? This from a guy in a band that hasn't put out any signifigant new material in 17 years? You know, Joe, I would respect you more if you just came out and said it: we want to get paid. Saying it's for the fans or all about the music is disingenuous at best.

But in the end, fans will line up to buy the album, realize it stinks, and clamor for the Eagles to play the old stuff on tour; meanwhile, the Eagles keep playing somnambulant concerts while counting the cash from the new album. Nice work if you can find it.